I should go upstairs and take some ibuprofen.

--Me, saying that 30 minutes after I said it the first time but apparently my ass is forgetful

The first tick of the season has been found and removed. I'm surprised it took this long.

Today's run was pretty decent up to the 4-mile point.

Then the humidity did its thing.

Still a fantastic run and the work is done.

#OnYourLeft

Everyone dies on Thursday. 😈

Them: 'Don't believe social media. Social media is really just everyone's highlight reel.'

Me: *posts about accidentally gleeking on people* 'I'm doing this wrong, aren't I?'

I took the day off today for no reason other than it's Monday. I didn't intend to proof my galleys but deadlines are apparently a thing. :)

Guys, I am totally ROCKING the galley proofing this morning. Killing it!

Narrator: Ten pages. Sean has proofed ten pages...in an hour.

Yesterday was 'Stop Day' for the college here in town. Basically a free day because next week is finals week.

When I was in college, we all just chilled and took it easy.

Apparently, debauchery and drunken revelry is the thing now.

Or it was then an I just missed it. Whatever.

I think I've finally reached the point of 'author who doesn't cringe while reading his own stuff.'

When you walk into an establishment and the candy bowl is in this state...burn it down.

Thor is NOT happy about the Whopper invasion trying to take over Fort Kickass.

#BookTwitter #DustBunnies #horrorbooks #YAforAdults

books2read.com/u/mVDgPl

If you mix Attack the Block, Evil Dead Rise, and Critters, you get:

I swallowed a bug.

#OnYourLeft

Sometimes I actually look like I know what I'm doing!

Ha ha jk I don't even look anywhere close to that.

My lawnmower died yesterday. Fixing it is beyond my ability.

But I just sewed up a hole in my pocket, so at least there's that.

The first book in my YA urban fantasy trilogy releases in less than two weeks!

I wrote this in 2016. Don’t give up on the characters who find you. Shelve them for temporary sanity if you need a break, but never forget about them.

Sometimes it’s all about timing.

Interviewer: 'So why should we hire you?'

Me: 'Because I know apostrophes don't make things plural.'

I: 'So, you wanna be CEO?'

Someone didn't find The Last Available funny. Get your copy and PROVE THEM WRONG!!!

(I'm really kidding though. I know humor is subjective and I'm totally cool with not finding something funny. To each their own)

Me: 'Man, I wish I didn't have to wait until Halloween for a cool-shaped Reese's cup.'

Reese's: 'We got'chu.'

Also, everything is 'snack size' to me.

Also also I, too, am snack size.

Them: 'And THIS is where the magic happens.'

Me: 'Um...that's a toilet.'

Morning, Twixxerpeople.