I always think Ben Chaplin being so ludicrously smoking hot added a further layer of tragedy to the character's predicament in the first series that was subsequently lost

On 16th March our match day programme printed a claim that Todd Gallen, our under 18s assistant coach, “is a Holocaust denier”. That allegation was false and offensive. We have destroyed all unsold copies and apologise wholeheartedly to Todd Gallen.

Please retweet.

If anyone knows the identity of this utter prat who interrupted a revision session on hedge fund management to pump gallons of stinking sewage into the lecture theatre, please contact us IMMEDIATELY.

I always assume people who don't like children in pubs are worried what they might do to the kids when drunk.

Tfw yet another shop starts doing loyalty card discounts

Don't get me wrong, I like Blur, but it's great to see a 90s band finally experience some of the irrelevance 80s and earlier artists suffered. 90s acts never really going out of fashion was fucking weird and unprogressive. I wish them a fate worse than A Flock Of Seagulls.

Every now and then I remember this

The light of truth shining on me

I've invested too much social and cultural capital in the Premier League being shit and predictable to not effectively become a Manchester City supporter.

Oh yes, my son Ois=n, named after the Irish mythological computer virus

I'm surprised the OPEC oil price rises alone didn't make public opinion in the west think Israel was too much effort. Inconveniencing motorists, the most indulged group of the 20th century!

This all could have ended before it even began had Biden made the right phone call to Israel in October. But he didn't. These are the consequences.

🚨 | BREAKING: Professor Gavin Tilman of University College Borehamwood has claimed that the divorce of Jon Richardson and Lucy Beaumont has sounded the death knell of the institution of marriage in Britain, and that it will die out within five years time. Do you agree? Comment below 👇

I fear this will go down as a complete and utter collapse

🚨 | BREAKING: Greater Manchester Police have widened the Angela Rayner tax investigation into a murder enquiry thanks to a tip-off from an unnamed Labour source.

Just want to say this smoked herring and tahini pita I made for lunch was absolutely powerful

Zero club colours and proper moody, how every away end in the country should look.