Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969 )

Uncle Duke

Bio Does this look infected?
Tweets 145,5K
Followers 62,8K
Following 764
Account created 13-04-2010 13:32:12
ID 132521439

iPhone : I got hearing aids today and almost immediately learned that my cropdusting probably hasn’t been as stealthy as I thought

iPhone : Thrilled that my 5YO started reading chapter books.

Terrified that she’ll find out the words, pages and chapters I skipped during bedtime routine

iPhone : Magician: Pick a card
Me: Any card? Cuz you didn’t say any card, which makes me think you’re trying—
Magician: [saws me in half but doesn’t put me back together]

iPhone : The danger of National Margarita Day is that it turns into National White People Dancing In Sombreros Night.