Yet my Teletubbies/Indecent Proposal mashup was laughed out of the room? SMDH.

Imagine the regret OJ must have felt on his death bed, knowing he hadn't yet apprehended the real killer. I will continue the search. We all will. Rest easy, Juice. We got this.

What the hell am I riding in with Telma Hopkins? You'll have to watch 'Clean Slate' on Amazon to find out. Coming soon and whatnot.

The eclipse is a reminder of how insignificant we are. Tiny clumps of cells on a massive rock. Total worthless blobs of shit. Hideous, irredeemable skinbags, lugging around rickety organs while blathering about nothing, destined to die in our own filth, then be quickly forgotten.

One cool thing we just noticed. Taking pics of the sun directly seemed practically useless, until we realized that the lens flares were accurate. Crazy.

Not to sound dramatic, but goodbye sun and all life.

A college athlete is going to accidentally enter a time portal instead of the transfer portal, and some unsuspecting punter from Iowa State is going to end up invading Britain with the Romans. There are currently no safeguards in place to prevent this. Do better, NCAA.

Imagine voting to end the American democracy 'cause your neighbor's friend's niece could theoretically be sad at a swim meet.

This is one of the most wholesome moments I’ve seen in a long time. This young girl brought to tears after Kamilla_Cardoso signs her ‘Everyone watches women’s sports’ sweatshirt. She has a dawnstaley autograph on there too!!

Got choked up shooting this 🥹
@GamcockWBB

Anyone else feel like the pandemic was just an amuse bouche for the pain to come?

Sorry I put your grandpa in a headlock and gave him noogies. To be fair, it was your decision to have an open casket.

👏FASTEN👏WINGS👏TO👏YOUR👏DOGS👏SO👏THEY👏LOOK👏LIKE👏BIG👏OL'👏BATS👏AND👏DELIGHT👏US👏ALL👏IT'S👏NOT👏THAT👏FUCKING👏COMPLICATED!!!👏

Listen to this insane blather and then think about the nuclear codes ☢️

Ugh. Still no buyer for my screenplay about a Czech rapper's tumultuous rise to fame. Was hoping to sell 'Mo' Money Mo' Praguelems' by now.

Reddit is kinda sorta undefeated.

Reddit is kinda sorta undefeated.

This 'age of trolling' is the child of a dumber populace. It requires no original idea or thoughtful response. A troll is incapable of either, yet invites other trolls into the sinkhole. 'Have a seat, fellow numbskull. We can feel fake-smart together.' Anyway y'all, pussy in bio.

4 years between “I’d march with you” to “It’s my right to be able to abuse trans people with impunity”.

REAL TALK? Cyndi Lauper and Wilson Pickett can't both be right.