Gmail changed their terms and conditions but I stayed the same.

could you explain it again in cryptozoology terms

The life-saving beauty of laughter.

As if we needed more reasons to love ravens

Google has suspended drone courier flights because of raven attacks. Looks like the Ravens have taken our side against Skynet.

Z E L D A I N B I O

to all the women supporting other women on this hell app--i see you and love you

So far my year has been like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.

Waking up kids for school:

1st try: Time to wake up.
3rd try: Please get up.
10th try: GET UP NOW!

Kids: Why are you yelling?

I cannot imagine I was brought onto this earth to have eight 30-minute meeting blocks back to back.

Oh you'll get yours motherfucker, don't worry (peace)

need to go sit by the sea soooooo bad

People are getting tired of your GenX tweets.

Me:

I just want enough power to be worth corrupting.

trying to generate electricity by rubbing two overdue notices together

Lean into your oddities early.

Shook my remote control to make the batteries less dead again.

Ramonda may travel to Chicago, #Illinois .
bit.ly/3xOum1V

day sixty four post valentines day

*looking at her picture*

now, who breaks up with someone on valentines day? 🤦🏼‍♂️