HAPPY ST GEORGES DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE #BRITISHBERFBURGER #AD

Andy Churnwell made a damn good point here

He's spent 10,000 hours practicing being a bald talentless cunt.

We've had this email from Bob which is pretty typical of the enquiries we receive. One of the best ways of increasing rental income mid-tenancy is to threaten eviction. The threat is legally empty if the tenants have done nothing wrong, but most tenants will not check the law.

Pressure? What pressure!

A battling performance yesterday saw us grind out a well deserved goalless draw in the derby away at Dynamo Catford FC 💪💪💪💪💪

#SRFC #UpTheGreyhounds #NeverStopNotGivingUp #TurboMotivation #WhatAClubWhatAnEthos

TFW the teacher sits you beside the biggest dickhead in the class.

🚨 | BREAKING: A senior Labour source has confirmed members of the shadow cabinet are unhappy with Sir Keir Starmer once again dressing in traditional crusades style armoury costume, in celebratation of St George's Day. It is understood Starmer intends to go ahead in any event.

Community Note? How about a Community PISS? I’ve just done a rotten PISS on my Community Note. Will you join me? 👇

This photo of Jimmy is just too powerful

You can't believe how much World Snooker Fever I have right now

Streatham Rovers stand in solidarity with the other 700+ entrants of the FA Cup that weren’t consulted over scrapping replays. We are disgusted that the greatest cup competition in the world is being killed to satisfy the wealthiest 3% of the football pyramid.

#SavetheFACup

Next time your children ask you why they can’t have presents for their birthday this year or why they have to sleep in the car sometimes when it gets really cold, tell them it’s because Keir Starmer needed a pair of £19,000 imported designer wellington boots.

Zac Efron is unrecognisable as disgraced New Left Media baron and unethical academic Aaron Bastani in new ITV miniseries THE COLLABORATOR.

SICK TO DEATH OF HAVING TO TAKE MY OWN PORTABLE LOO BURSH WITH ME EVERY TIME I GO MACSONALDS SO THE PERSON AFTER ME WONT THINK IM RESPONSIBLE FOR THE STATE OF THE TOILET IVE JUST WALKED INTO 🤮. IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR NEAR ON 20 YRS! THIS HAS TO STOP “MACCIE DEE”’ McDonald's UK!

We would like to send our most heartfelt condolences to the family of Dr Connor Kelp who tragically lost in his long fight with leukaemia yesterday evening. RIP.

Congratulations to young midfielder Jared Appleton who has won the Under 18s Player of the Month award for March and was presented with the trophy at training by assistant coach Todd Gallen. #SRFC #UpTheGreyhounds #NeverStopNotGivingUp #TurboMotivation #WhatAClubWhatAnEthos

Stinson Hunter on the old timeline, eh. We'll be hunting down Joseph Kony again next

If anyone knows the identity of this utter prat who interrupted a revision session on hedge fund management to pump gallons of stinking sewage into the lecture theatre, please contact us IMMEDIATELY.

On 16th March our match day programme printed a claim that Todd Gallen, our under 18s assistant coach, “is a Holocaust denier”. That allegation was false and offensive. We have destroyed all unsold copies and apologise wholeheartedly to Todd Gallen.

Please retweet.

On 15 April I tweeted that JK Rowling “is a Holocaust denier”. That allegation is correct and true. I have posted it right now and I will never apologise to JK Rowling.