I keep hearing: if Donald Trump gets a second term, protests will be banned and democracy will be replaced with authoritarianism. What do you call what’s happening at Columbia University now?

🚨 Biden admin is quietly pressuring countries to vote against Palestinian statehood at the UN, according to diplomatic cables leaked to me:
theintercept.com/2024/04/17/uni…

The $20 bill is starting to give $5 bill energy and I don’t like that.

All of my coworkers thought they needed a second pair of eclipse glasses to hold up to their phones to take photos of the eclipse. I feel insane, they keep arguing that you can’t see it without the glasses.

Friend’s 22-year-old gf said “I’m so sorry if this is an invasive question but your phone background… is that your boyfriend?”

look up azealia banks and then your birthday 😭😭😭 there hasn’t been a single day where she didn’t have beef with someone

“no one should be retiring at the age of 65” wrong you should be able to retire at the age of 25 and then just hang out for the rest of your life

when you're mean to me online just know this is who you're being mean to

SCREAMING MASHING MY TEETH SHOUTING IT CAN'T BE TRUE

Me reviewing all the Kate Middleton tweets I liked over the past couple weeks

Alhamdulillah, McDonald’s has introduced a green shake to celebrate Ramadan. They even named is a shamrock shake, a play on the Arabic shams (light) and raq (elegant, pretty) — an elegant light. A truly wonderful thing.

Huge fumble by Disney. National Treasure 3 could have 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and so long as the trailer has Nic Cage say something insane like 'FDR's wheelchair isn't just a wheelchair, it's a map' I am there opening night.

Blue cross and blue shield

3pm-5pm is the bane of my existence every day between 3pm-5pm i lose my will to live and go insane

it brings me such deep and harmonious inner peace knowing that she is currently the maddest a person has ever been

Damn this dude is better than like 75% of the people I interact with on a daily basis.