The Erewhon prices are low key not that different from the Ideal Food Basket by my apartment in Brooklyn

I’m going thru this phase where I basically can’t eat anything unless it’s a burrito or a smoothie which is why I’m so happy to be going to LA tomorrow

The fact of the matter is I’m headlining in Los Angeles next Friday, April 19 💐

Send this to a gay person or anyone with taste in LA 🎫 tinyurl.com/AllisonOConorL…

Sometimes I’m like am I being weird right now and then it’s like oh right yes I’m kind of weird

This whole eclipse glasses situation once again marginalizes the “doesn’t plan ahead” community, incidentally the only people who actually appreciate beauty.

I’m at the party like bro I fucking love your work

She thinks she just fell out of a coconut tree

Me when I order a cosmo at Union Hall

My studio apartment is both daughter and mother to me

Wait was that an earthquake or is my building just about to collapse

Every song title on Only God Was Above Us is like a parody of a Vampire Weekend song title, which is how I know it’s gonna be amazing. Ice Cream Piano??? Prep-School Gangsters???? Let’s go boys I’m diving in

Carrie Bradshaw

Same and that’s why I am not bothered bc I genuinely deserve this due to karma ❤️

So ur telling me ur 28 years old without a paper lantern pendant lamp hanging in your Brooklyn apartment?? Yeah right buster

They should invent a grind that stops

Looking for a therapist who barely believes in astrology but maybe does just a little teeny tiny bit but not rly but kinda

Wait fuck I think maybe life is all about learning… either that or drinking lime seltzer

SAT 4/6: Garrett and Allison's Big Night 💐
Allison O'Conor and Garrett Williams, BFA present a lineup of the hottest comedians in showbiz!

Featuring joe castle baker rose kelso youngmi mayer Keara Sullivan Phoebe Robinson S A M M Y + raina!

🎟️: tinyurl.com/mvk774sc