Just sitting around with my thumb up my arse while everyone else sweats their bollocks off, don't mind me.

Need an exit from this. I'm not just out of my depth, I'm actively not needed here.

Kids, when someone offers you a fat sack of gold and promises you a richly rewarding new job, look damn carefully at what they want you to do.

If there's one thing worse than being overworked, it's being sat around wondering what the hell your new bosses want while everyone else is working flat out every day. I should have looked the gift horse in the mouth.

I am knackered. This new job malarkey is exhausting

<taps mic> is this still on?

What kind of gun was it and where did he get it from?

Tedious. I thought GB News was supposed to be a fresh take, not the telly version of LBC shock jocks.

Why omit the T, BBC?

Rob Halford of Judas Priest has become a lifelong Kentucky Colonel
planetradio.co.uk/planet-rock/ne…

Only Microsoft could create something with a WYSIWYG editor capable of outputting code that causes a CTD at runtime.

Did you know that Royal Mail Signed For delivery means the postman signs for your parcel? Me neither

Inspired by correct maps of the People's Republic of China's territory, I made a correct map of the Netherlands.

You know his most famous riff: Hilton Valentine, the British guitarist behind The Animals' classic cover of 'The House of the Rising Sun,' is dead at 77. apne.ws/y6pGgWS

Cunty cunty cunty cunty cuntybollocks.

That's better.

I spent the whole fucking day trying to get something done. I watched the rest of the industry zooming past me with minimal effort. All because the boss didn't want a mate of his to blush.

The new Wuhan flu strain is fictional, I think. A pathetic alibi cooked up by panicky politicians and civil servants who can't cope with the idea of confronting something that effortlessly ignores bans and restrictions.

Cabinet meets this afternoon.
Ministers say it’s to rubber stamp decision about national lockdown already taken.
Johnson will be flanked by his scientists and circulate scary cabinet office paper leaked this morning.
Won’t be challenged.
PM will announce national lockdown 4pm.

RIP Sean Connery. Before he played James Bond, he served his country as a young man in the Royal Navy onboard HMS Formidable.

twitter.com/OnthisdayRN/st…