I feel like many people who aren’t particularly superstitious have one superstition that they adhere to, even though they know it’s nonsensical. Mine is that opening an umbrella indoors is bad luck. I know it makes no sense and yet I flinch whenever anyone does it!!

Launching your poetry-themed album about your libertine fuckboy ex on the 200th death anniversary of noted libertine fuckboy poet Lord Byron is pretty good marketing, not gonna lie

Bilbo Baggins is 111.

Yet his epigenetic age is only 50.

He’s aging at an annual rate of 0.00, like butter scraped over too much bread, outpacing Dave Pascoe.

Here’s a breakdown of his biohacking protocol (it costs WAY less than you think):

Other QTs: new Shyamalan film starring Josh Hartnett 😍

My QT: new Shyamalan film starring the Skydome* as a murder pit 😌

*well, Skydome exteriors/concourse, anyway

13yo: I don’t really like the new direction they’re going with climbers. They’re all just kind of boring now.

Am I doing ok

Thrilled that she is once more taking her vengeance