What civilians see: soup can!
What Art Cops see: soup CAN be a weapon!

Soup-sniffing dogs are alert for soup-throwing attacks!

Our hounds are certified under the PATRIOT Act: Protecting Art Through Radical Intervention Of Terriers.

#heistpodcast #climateprotests

Birds: the #1 threat to museums! If you see a bird:

1. Remain calm.
2. Assume the nonthreatening pose of the greater flamingo.
3. Begin nonthreatening bird calls.

Remember: a bird attack could come at any time!

Listen now to the pilot episode of #Heist !

Considering a career as an Art Cop? Here's a perk: exhibit your art in the galleries! I hung this self-portrait between a van Gogh and a Monet!

Not to brag, but this masterpiece brought a visitor to tears! Was that visitor my mother? No comment.

#heistpodcast #podcast

Security is funny business! Check out the pilot episode of 'Heist!'

Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/2wE3uL…

Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pil…

Or listen in on our website: heist-podcast.com!

#podcast #comedypodcast #museumpodcast

Super excited to unveil the official 'Heist' logo, created by the incredibly talented M!

#heistpodcast #artcops #comingsoon #museumpodcast

🚨Found in our Baroque Gallery🚨

Crackers chucked carelessly by a tiny tot?

DON'T BE FOOLED!

Toddler thieves drop snacks to activate roach & mice sleeper cells. Vermin swarm, visitors panic! In the hubbub, miscreant minors make off with a Monet!

#heistpodcast #comingsoon

The cat is out of the bag! More accurately (knowing Stan), the cat is eating the bag! 😺🛍️

I'm proud to announce the launch of our website: heist-podcast.com!

Check it out! And stay tuned...

#heistpodcast #artcops #galpals

What do you stand for? As a museum security officer, I've stood...

40hrs per week x 52 weeks x 10 years = 20,800 hrs!

I stand for mediocre pay and the ✨prestige✨of working at an art museum!

I don't know how much more I can stand! 😅

#heistpodcast #artcops #comingsoon

A reminder: TOUCH ❤️ EACH ❤️ OTHER ❤️ NOT ❤️ART❤️

#heistpodcast #artcops #comingsoon

Meet your 2024 Disdainful Cat of the Year: Stan! A 3x runner-up, Stan took the crown this year, winning over the judges with his withering glance.

Stan is a core part of our Team. When he's not napping in sunbeams, he enjoys tuna and making Art Cop sneeze!

#heistpodcast #cattax

Me, editing and revising our pilot episode of #Heist .

🐌COMING SOON🐌

#heistpodcast #artcops #snailspace

The definition of #galpals ? 'Misinterpreting sapphic energy as platonic; a lesbian blind spot.'

We watched lake sunsets every week that summer. Before I was out, my mom saw my sunburn. 'Y'all sure are at the lake together a lot!'

Just a couple of flannel-clad, gal pal roomies!

Meet M: my talented gf! M graduated summa cum laude from #ArtCop University, garnered every accolade in the field, and promptly retired.

Her achievements since:
-Passed the bar ✅
-Won a Grammy ✅
-Medical residency ✅
-Hiked the Appalachian Trail in 10 days ✅
#heistpodcast

This is #Heist ! I'm your host, #ArtCop . What's an Art Cop? We're friendly faces in the galleries! Touch the art, though, and we become the inhibitions you left at home, your conscience (shame on you!), and your mother, exasperatedly telling you to keep your hands to yourself!