there should be a lottery but instead of money you win Hand Jobs..... Oh wait that already exists and it is called 'LIFE'

(hearing anything) Whats next? Poop? Pee?

My toxic girlfriend manipulated me into believing in myself and following my dreams😂 just playing, shes incredible and i am so grateful for her. I quit my job to pursue my dreams and i have become financially dependent on her.

Video games are making our children docile,My child doesn’t have the slightest idea what to do with a real weapon

Road head so good I call it road mind! (getting serious) But officer really theres nothing to see here.

The prisoners dilemma? Honey, the dilemma is that I’ve been arrested!

I am one more epic quote tweet away from her letting me see my son again

why’d you delete this Stephan Jenkins 😑

Riding the Williamsburg bridge to Brooklyn. Couldn't be happier

Whats a good incident to cause at my
high school for someone who’s just getting into causing incidents?

The full cast? well to start maybe“Tell me a little bit about the afterlife”

At the beach - Where the hoes at?

Cocky want boing boing!

Pavlov is coming to dinner tonight. Please no one ring a bell. It reminds him of his dogs

Probably not but whatever makes you feel better about your childhood

Why is it always twins?How come you never hear about siamese friends

millennial third eye blind I wish you would get off of that phone my friend😂

Stephan Jenkins Please retweet this,I’m a single mother trying to raise money for my children (ages 8 and 17) to have lifechanging surgery to become a siamese twin

We’re bringing our annual Pride telethon fundraiser to save and/or fix gay people to NYC for the first time ever!!

Gay Aid 2024 is at The Bell House on June 1st for one show only!!

Tix here: eventbrite.com/e/girl-god-pre…

Saving/fixing gay types LIVE in new york one night only this June Tickets on sale now

Fuck😑

Anyone have any eclipse glasses I can borreoe?w