I can't help but wonder about my impact on the environment as I release handfuls of my own hair, which I have collected from my t-shirt, out the window as I fly down interstate, late for work.

Me: We need a 24hr grocery store so I can shop after I get off work at midnight.
BF: We had one. It was called Walmart.
😭😭😭

Can not WAIT to fill my Thanksgiving plate up with sides with a side of sides😍

Happy 50cent corndog day.....I mean Halloween🎃

Could I BE any sadder??

It's the first day of the best 4 months of the year🥰

It takes a confident woman to get her top lip threaded in the middle of the mall.

If my bank don't stop sending me updates on my sad little balance every day.

Just let me be great. Damn.

Okay but how does Taco Bell decide which meals get taco supremes and which ones get regular tacos?

Working overtime this week specifically so I can go to Homegoods. So yeah, I have a problem.

1 in 5 mammals is a bat. Re-examine everything you think you know about your “loved ones.'

peace was never an option

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars

My son wanted to know what the 90s were like so I left him on the side of the road without his phone.

After 6 months of couchlessness, I found this weird little thing. It's perfect.

Idk who needs to hear this, but small wins are still wins.

About to take my dog to the vet instead of the dog park. This betrayal will take hours to apologize for.

Therapy dogs waiting to start their shift at a children’s hospital.. 😊

What іdіot called іt “parmesan cheese” and not Spaghettі Confettі?