David Van Day doesn’t get NEARLY enough credit for inventing the DVD

Man who blames everything in his life on Sadiq Khan.

Hooray Hooray the 1st of May! Outdoor sex begins today!

MAYDAY! MAYDAY! IT'S BRIAN MAY DAY!

Bought my daughter a cheap 'Miss Piggy' purse but sadly it was very pork wallety.

A very Happy Birthday today to the actor William Shatner

Faintly reminiscent of my wedding photos.

Spare ticket for Nachtland at the Young Vic tonight at 7.30 if anyone’s free.

Willy Wonka in Glasgow the Musical

I’ve just eaten a fun-sized crunchie wrapped in bacon followed by a mini fudge with a slice of ham. Disgusting. Whoever said you shouldn’t meat your heroes was right.
🕺🏻

I've always wanted to put Jim McDonald from Coronation Street punching people to Motörhead.

Today I did. Enjoy your evening x

Me going up to my room when my mum said I could have hula hoops when we got home but now she says it’s too close to dinner time.

365 days of learning Italian on Duolingo. Still not sure where I’ll use this phrase.

These weather reports are filth.

Caption this cause I have no idea what's goin on here!

No comment.

Pubic hair shenanigans with Clare Short and Curly out of the Three Stooges in the new issue of Viz, which I think is in the shops now, although some of the shops might be closed, as it's nearly half eight.

Apparently it would close every door.

If you can't tell me how powerful a French car is whilst locked in its trunk, then I'm afraid you simply don't know voiture torque in a boot.

The wife and I had a quiet NYE.