as a woman why are you not prioritizing your future children at the forefront of every decision you make

all the prettiest girls i know are banned from OpenTable

how much do you guys tip your first class stewardess ? I usually do 100 but I only have my tap to follow twitter card on me today 😭😭😭

rekt

you dont have adhd you just have a female brain

i hope yall know you’re never seeing the gates of heaven

your dad didnt make you watch sandy hook conspiracy videos with him after school and it shows

everyone talking about solana being congested have we considered giving them a benadryl ??

like this if you’ll be at the milady rave at the pyramids for the 2027 eclipse

as a geriatric 25 year old who has hit the wall and whose eggs have shriveled to mere dust and a fallacy of what could have been, it brings me so much joy when i get ID at the bar

it gives me a fleeting rush of remembrance of my wasted youth and missed opportunity

tipsy barbi airport tweets incoming

have you ever been so celibate that you look forward to TSA patdowns

gm beautiful angels

im rooting for your success

you are programmed to win

you couldnt lose if you tried

go embody your divinity

if you look like this dm me

if you’re going to rug at least be a luxurious mink one

i rebuke everything about susan b anthony

✅👯‍♂️

craving a hotdog

heres your entry for $mimany if youve been fading

youre chosen

youre special

youre gods favorite

i love you so much