i’m an introvert with an exhibitionism kink so this is the definition of “don’t threaten me with a good time”

they watch me struggling to pay my bills too— ima get mine 😭😭

When I be asking y’all what to do with my hands I want y’all to literally do this.

klarna ozempic dior ❤️

just learned that carrots contain enough metal to burst into flames when you microwave them :/

there are some things we just weren’t meant to see. and i have a feeling brighter lights won’t actually stop those things from happening. now you’ll just have to watch the horrors unfold with 100% visual clarity.

if roaches are the divine, i’m sooo glad i’m going to hell.

Why are you, as a dog, demanding to go outside and then not doing anything when you get there?

xmas 08, the whole family went to see the spirit and we lasted maybe 30 mins. you know it was awful cause there were like 8 of us and we actually paid for tickets instead of finessing free ones from noodles & co. we didn’t even bring the beach bag full of popcorn from home!!

Jill Scott’s stepdad:

um think i accidentally healed and now i can’t indulge in the toxic behaviour patterns i used to find comfort in

I know I’m not ready for kids by how much quiet time I need to survive. I need time to not speak, I need time to rot in bed, I need my naps, I need complete silence. I don’t think I could handle not having that option anymore

OKAY LMFAOOOOOOO

I don’t like to be in mens business but you ate that.

*pam beasley voice* they’re the same house.