Working on a book about a kid who becomes powerful from summer vibes but gets crook in winter. I should be done by now but I’ve had to get a job cleaning out the fountains at the airport and it’s made me far too angry to sit down

they call him Philip Seymour Hoffman because the seats of the movie theater Fill Up to See More of him Often

mfw my wife tells me in a ‘you’re not going to like this’ tone that there’s a gender neutral toilet in KFC Glasgow

nothing beats the monopoly movie they pitched in 2011

me every time someone walks past with a pug

they should make a Mr Bean videogame where you have to ragdoll yourself down a staircase and into oncoming traffic

the next Magic Mike movie should be called Magic Michael

whenever I read a negative review of an australian book I think 'well what if they also think that about me ?' and get sick in the tummy

The novelisation of the Bluey movie is just under 1000 pages and has a long seemingly unrelated section about how public transport expansion for the 2032 olympics will raise Brisbane’s crime rate

imagine becoming a journalist and spending actual time out of your life trying to secure cocaine for one of the worst people in australia while they sit in your hotel room googling 'how to have sex with someone'

Bart: Ay caramba! I just learned that managing trauma is a lifelong process.
Homer: (weird season 1 voice) That's right, boy.

This is simultaneously the funniest and saddest thing I've ever seen. I laughed so hard in the store I had to buy it

This looks like a headline from a post-apocalyptic newspaper

distressed kermits on facebook marketplace

most Australian writers are quiet on atrocities in Palestine in case they destroy their opportunity to be short listed for something called the Greg Hewitt Novella Award or get invited to read at a salon series run by Elbit Systems

april fools really allows government and corporate comms teams to come together, loosen up, and make some of the worst content of all time

For many generations, driving along the beach has been a cherished way of life

being observant on easter sunday by listening to Sujfan Steven's Seven Swans in the car and nodding when the religious bits of the songs come on