Found someone’s ashes at a thrift shop

British people be like stone, parchment, shears

giving my rabbit body dysmorphia

ppl w black cats be like “look how cute he is” then show u this

fuck u ice cream man i know you saw me

linkin park humpty dumpty

🤝

one step closer to the edge and i’m about to break

“oh god what time is it?!”
[i check my watch, it’s 9 in the afternoon]
“not again” i groan
[my eyes swell to the size of the moon]

you know what would make this pandemic a little nicer? put cocaine back in the sodas

friend: I’m moving to Wales this week

me: (only able to move one whale per week) holy shit that’s impressive

baby birds be like

:V V:
:V

can't stop thinking about how people that are 5'8' are also 4'20'