UConn's transformation from a litter of Scrappy-Doos to a ravenous pack of Cujos has made for a fascinating progression over the last 25 years, but Hurley's brand of hoops doesn't exactly make for must-see TV. (Parochialism not helping, either.)
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Superfan Jason Sudeikis = Drake, but on a crummier TV show

Seton Hall's 79-77 win over Robbie Avila's Indiana State in the NIT Final averaged 1.407 million viewers on ESPN last night, good for a 280% lift (3.8x) versus last year's UAB Blazers-North Texas Mean Green telecast (370,000).

“𝐶𝑒𝑐𝑖 𝑛’𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑠 𝑢𝑛𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑓-𝑝𝑖𝑝𝑒.”
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it's like my apartment is going through some sort of infernal car wash

𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖌𝖔𝖉𝖉𝖆𝖒𝖓 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖊, 𝖜𝖍𝖞 𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚

'Self-knowledge is generally bad news.' — John Barth (1930-2024)

And the Disney ratings juggernaut keeps chugging right along…

Lobo just nuked the Capital District and its 578,760 TV households. (Also, there’s plenty to do in Albany, so long as your idea of a good time is drinking yourself into the laundry bag.)

“Finger Lakes.” In lieu of a viable brain, pretty much everyone alive at this particular moment in history has a little nubbin filled with gorilla piss resting on top of their spinal column, and it’s leaking like crazy.

UConn makes every team they play look like there's a drowsy janitor in their home gym who has to climb a ladder to retrieve the ball from the peach basket whenever they score, which is almost never.

GroupM, which controls $64 billion in global media spend, is going all-in on its women's sports investments, enlisting the likes of Unilever, Nationwide, Adidas and Google to double down on everything from college hoops to tennis.
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In the history of hype, there has never been a more make-you-want-to-Kool-Aid-Man®-your-way-through-a-brick-wall kind of guy than Brent Musburger. To this day, the very thought of a prefatory 'YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE…' makes me want to chew my way through 13' of concrete.

Here's another nightmare-thing you never see nowadays. That odd baby down there in the corner had no idea that he was bearing witness to the dying throes of history's most annoying art form. When he got home later, probably all he wanted to do was watch the Fraggles or some shit

𝐺𝑖𝑚𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝑅, 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝐸, 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝐴, 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑚𝑒 𝑎 𝐶, 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝐻. 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑡 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑙𝑙? 𝑇𝑉.
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// whispers so quietly, even God cannot hear //
ₜₕₑ ₖₙᵢ𝒸ₖₛ ₐᵣₑ goₒ𝒹 ₜₕₑ ₖₙᵢ𝒸ₖₛ ₐᵣₑ 𝓰ₒₒ𝒹 ₕₒₗᵧ ₘₒₜₕₑᵣ ₒ𝒻 ₛₕᵢₜ ₜₕₑ ₖₙᵢ𝒸ₖₛ ₐᵣₑ gₒₒ𝒹

Turning down an invitation to the NIT is a reminder that you can always bail on shit you don't feel like doing. Just because someone sends a self-addressed stamped envelope to your house doesn't make their clumsy overtures compulsory. Stationery isn't a legally binding contract.

The State of the Union Address was a big hit among the 𝑀𝑎𝑡𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑘 crowd, as 75% of the 32.2 million people who tuned in were age 55+. The 18-34 set had other things to do last night*, as that demo accounted for just 5% of the total audience.
*weed, TikTok, being disrespectful