Dayton Ward (@daytonward )

Dayton Ward

Bio NY Times bestselling word pusher. Husband. Dad. Trekkie. Rush fan (band). Tampa Bay Bucs fan. Observer/derider of human behavior. Immortal for a limited time.
Location Kansas City, Missouri
Tweets 29,3K
Followers 4,5K
Following 2,0K
Account created 26-01-2009 03:04:05
ID 19517815

Twitter Web App : I'm having a salad for dinner.

My colon's all, "Who are you and what have you done with Dayton?"

iPhone : "Do you have any links to articles that provide good writing advice?"

:: sends links ::

"Wow. Some of those are pretty long. Do you have anything shorter?"

"Are you wanting to write fortune cookies, or something?"

- Why Dayton doesn't get invited to writing seminars, #5,291

Twitter Web App : For those of you entering the annual Amity Boat Regatta, remember.........

(Sent to me by a friend, and they dont know who created it, either. Somebody identify that person so we can give them the congratulations they so richly deserve.)

Twitter Web App : "We jumped out from behind bushes while the British came down the road in their bright red jackets, but never has a war been so courteously declared. It was on parchment with calligraphy, and 'Your Highness, we beseech you on this day in Philadelphia to bite me, if you please.'"

iPhone : So, June.

That was a hell of a year, wasn’t it?


Twitter Web App : Setting off fireworks in the middle of the day is about as stupid as eating pancake mix out of the fucking box while your skillet is in the dishwasher.

And yet, that's what I hear somewhere outside.


Twitter Web App : This a live thing where we'll also field questions from the audience (at least, that's what I think he said).

Hey, it's either this or we talk to the voices in my head. YOU DECIDE.…

Twitter Web App : If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour youre gonna some serious shit.

Happy 35th Anniversary to BACK TO THE FUTURE, which hit theaters on July 3, 1985!