respectfully
i do not
1. it looks a lot like hard work and i dont believe in work
2. some things should stay between me, the devil, and whoever I happen to have in some kind of weird medieval torture device that day

GOD: okay everyone gets one thing from this bag of traits
ELEPHANT: i shall take a long nose
GOD: how fun
BUTTERFLY: i shall have beautiful wings
GOD: oho yes very charming
MOSQUITO: i shall be a heinous little bitch
GOD: you know what this is my fault i did put that in the bag

'man or bear' the gays solved this a long time ago by fusing the two into a single cuddly entity that plays board games with the just right balance of dad jokes and sexual tension

apropos of nothing, it's interesting that we all accept that something can be a vegetable, or not a vegetable or something in-between, or not vegetable adjacent at all, and there's no hard scientific reasoning behind it, it's just a vibe, and the sky has not fallen as a result

SERVANT: did you see the king??
SERVANT 2: not since the turning stuff into gold thing
SERVANT: ok ok hes coming this way

SERVANT: loving the new look sire
SERVANT 2: gold is your colour

SERVANT: wow he looks like crap
SERVANT 2: do you think he knows the economy is in freefall

the hardest leftist principle to swallow is that being a gobshite or a hypocrite is the human condition and we handle it by covering each others weaknesses, not by demanding everyone be right 100% of the time, we must revel in foolery, it is a birthright, the jester is sacred

i used to think cyclops was unattractive because he was a loser but now having matured as a person I can see that he is attractive *because* he is a loser

one time I delayed writing a paper until the night before and stayed up all night playing the skyrim soundtrack on repeat and I was so confident I'd nailed it, but I never actually received a mark because on reading it my tutor called me in to check on my mental health

I know it's been a while but I have actually never forgiven Once Upon A Time for killing off the slutty wolf guy halfway through season one and then just LEAVING him DEAD like ma'am that are you aware your actions constitute criminal waste of a furry dreamboat