I hate short people, get your short dumbass out my way

I just ate $35 worth of Taco Bell before entering this escape room. We’re getting out one way or another.

you get dick pics I get hot dog pics so who’s the real wiener here

Woke culture is out of control (I am being prosecuted for tax fraud)

i can be a little mean to you as a treat

Walking into traffic, y’all need anything?

So scared for summer what if I turn into a hoe

Love to make bargains with my anxiety like bro, send that email and I'll let you take a nap

Active Twitter user lol

Scheduling a lobotomy at Home Depot

referring to the philippines as “philly”

trust myself? the guy that ruined my life?

love when a dog has a stupid name. what do you mean this idiot answers to Typewriter

it’s so funny how the guy whose stepdad exploded in a submarine is still on here tweeting like “do any babes out there like air hockey 🥺👉👈”

If ghosts are real, then why aren't any of them pantsing people

I only wear ripped jeans if they've been mauled by a panther

The baby scrolling on the phone while she's getting cradled 😭😭😭

Food doesn't fall out of your mouth sometimes when you're eating? That's nice

can we please hang out at your house today? mine is haunted

everyone shutup i'm experiencing childlike wonder