siri, wheel me to the toilet.

me (thirsty): this is just like dune part two

exorcist sequel where they try to remove elvis from austin butler’s body

what if i told you the video of the guy sniffing, slapping and licking dough in his kitchen ends with a jack skellington donut

my son turned 300 this weekend ❤️

she going down lois to my peter until i get absolutely goofy

you’re going to do WHAT on friday???

me and the new cool bug I caught

so replies are ruined, quote retweets are ruined, articles are ruined, verification is a mess and now likes and retweets are ruined

got it

???

were we warned about the text alert constantly for days? yes.

did it still scare me so bad that i sneezed, shouted and pissed my pants all at once in line at the coffee bean? i don’t have to answer that.