“Toddler tapas.” Some leftovers, hunks of cheese, veggies and crackers, ranch dressing to dip.

That’s because my city government is great, my state government is fine on the tax front (though I could do without the “outlawing chemtrails” stupidity) and my federal government is nonfunctional and run by morons.

Notably, the precursor to the Grand Ole Opry.

Trying to get sickies to eat something remotely healthy so I made them leftover macaroni bolognese and reheated some chicken piccata for myself. There were tears.

And then they discovered my chicken piccata.

At least it’s the healthy lunch I was aiming for? 😂

Got a perfume sample that I actually LOVED — really rare! — aaaaaaand come to find out it’s like $300 a bottle lol

Of course it was great!

Third kid went down with an ear infection today. Probably everybody had strep, thanks to Patient Zero’s messed up tonsils. Probably gonna have to build a moat and bug bomb the place now.

As God’s mercy is and remains infinite, there is room for all who seek Him to find forgiveness. We are all sinners who find hope in Christ’s Resurrection. While Hell is probably not empty, neither is heaven.

It’s entirely post hoc, ergo propter hoc — assuming that women and men would vote in identical numbers if women were disenfranchised tomorrow because, previously, women voted for Democrats and men, Republicans.

This is immodest dress. Where are the yoga pants police?

T2 to T1: We should drop you off at the dump! It would be stinky but you could crawl out and walk back, and get Wendy’s on your way home!

T1: BUT I DONT WANT WENDYS

That was the objectionable part of that plan?

In fairness, Jonah, we Italians do not have space lasers, so we’re not nearly as threatening.

T1, rolling on the floor: “No, God, nooooooo! Whyyyyyy God?”

“Is your brother OK, T2?”

T2: “No. We’re out of blueberry muffins.”

There’s nothing like a good caftan

I swear, I will buy entire new wardrobes for each of my children but it takes being stabbed in the boob by a popped-out underwire for me to realize I might need a new bra to replace the nursing bra I bought when I was pregnant with my daughter, who is THREE

just watch baseball. this is what baseball is and why it exists

Except that this is literally their plan lol

The Fluffy Butt Hut is *supposed* to be fully occupied but they’re mostly still going out for meals.

For those of you looking for an update: T1’s fever broke overnight! He has strep, but with none of the typical symptoms, aside from a very high fever. We think it is likely his tonsils, which may have to come out. For now, he is on the “worst medicine evah” (amoxicillin). 😂