person: I’m sad

doctor: here are pills that make it impossible to cum or lose weight

person: perfect

give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he will destroy the entire ocean’s ecosystem

CEO is a fake job title invented by rich people who would rather step through a pile of working class corpses than pay a living wage

“it will bounce back” they say about a fickle industry built on the wavering opinions of a ruling class, governed by an imaginary economy, in a world of inevitable and relentless change

I would not hook up with the grinch but i would feel good if i found that he wanted hook up with me

kinda insane how we are infinitesimally complex beings of organic matter floating on a rock in an unlikely universe, wondering if we acted weird

if you ate these as a kid, how’s your autoimmune disease treating you?

scooter braun sounds like the name of a limited edition vacuum cleaner

my friend just tried to describe hentai to her mom, who replied with a blank stare and then said “I like only murders in the building”

oops! just made the mistake of being attached to an outcome. forgot the world around us is an infinite dimension of relentless change. my bad.

just heard someone at Trader Joe’s refer to the hurricane as “yassified rain” and now I hope it destroys every building in LA

one time I asked my teacher if I could design one of those bulletin boards in the hallway at school and I filled it with nutrition facts about high fructose corn syrup and I got bullied so bad for it we had to have a school assembly and then no one came to my 13th birthday

everything is a joke except jokes, which are the truth

385 million years ago our ancestors developed legs and now I have to hear olivia rodrigo’s music on the radio, how is that fair?

“it will bounce back” they say about a fickle industry built on the wavering opinions of a ruling class, governed by an imaginary economy, in a world of inevitable and relentless change

when they say streaming services are dying I believe it because I would genuinely rather watch videos of a faceless stranger rating the scoopability of bulk candy than an episode of television that cost $34 million dollars to make

kinda insane how we are infinitesimally complex beings of organic matter floating on a rock in an unlikely universe, wondering if we acted weird

what people don’t realize about elon musk is that he graduated from one of canada’s top business schools with really good grades

not sure who needs to hear this but love is not a limited resource capitalism just forces you to apply the scarcity model to everything in your life