being a milllenial is feeling shame for sing the lyrics to ignition but not being able to deny the toot toot, beep beep

I know you like boys but I’ll still flirt with you

Better safe than sober

Having a whore claw.

No!! A white claw.

Im not just good in bed, I’m exceptionally good in bed.

I can sleep for 12 hours straight and beg for more.

Might fuck around and retweet a bunch of horny tweets tonight

What do you call Marshall Mathers when he has a cold?

Phlegminem.

tattoo date night

Letting me know he's thinking about me is hotter than any dirty talk, and this bitch loves dirty talk

If they remake Star Wars, Chewy will need to manscape

I just wish I was lovingly making out with her butthole, y'know?

The sexiest thing a woman can do is suck my dick

I gotta get outta here, I'm gonna be late.

*sits on my bed after my shower staring into nothingness for what seems like forever.

women only want an older man for all the jizzdom they can share

just might go apoplectit

gonna start a girl band made up of millennial moms and call ourselves the trapper keepers

OJ Simpson was my baby mama

na’night