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Summary of the debate:

“Well I know you are, but what am I?” for 1.5 hours

An innocent black guy is killed by police and Tucker Carlson calls him a thug.

A guilty white guy murders two people and Tucker Carlson calls him a patriot.

If pharmacies and grocery stores were couples:

1. CVS & Ralph’s
2. Rite Aid & Pavilions
3. Walgreens & Trader Joe’s
4. That private pharmacy in every town center & Bristol Farms
5. Subscription delivery supplements & Whole Foods

Turned 32 today.
I was 21 when quarantine started.

My daily quarantine mood is the sound FaceTime makes when someone doesn’t pick up.

Things that have benefited from quarantine:
1. Zoom
2. TikTok
3. The alcohol industry
4. Guys with commitment issues
5. Air fryers

It’s crazy how being in business skews your perspective. All of a sudden it’s like HA HA HA *ONLY* A $1M VALUATION?!

One. Million. Dollars.

I will now attempt the impossible: drinking and trying to follow Westworld.

*points to belly fat*

Maybe she’s born with it, 🎶Maybe it’s quarantine 🎶

-open Instagram
-scroll a bit before realizing it’s a waste of time & not actually all that interesting
-close insta
-stare at home screen
-well...now what? wonder if there are new features in the clock app?
-Jesus Christ
-reopen insta

Routines are essential during this time.

Muting everyone I follow on insta who has a pool

Asking myself “Did I shower today?” more often than I’d like to admit.

Tbh they should have let us get used to the extra hour of daylight before this whole quarantine thing.

Quarantine: All this extra time! You could clean out your closet! Finish that painting! Learn new skills on the internet!

Me: Why is the remote so far

Anyone else occasionally catch sight of the clothes hanging in their closet and legitimately forget the last time they put on a full outfit?

#QuarantineLife

Things I am going to stock up on amidst coronavirus:

- wine, duh
- generic questions so my professors think I’m actually engaged during online class
- the will to bite my tongue
- creative ways to blame Covid-19 for not wanting to go out when really I just don’t want to
-sleep

Waking up this morning made me feel like the age you eat muffins with a fork.

Will pay someone to write & release a song called “AAA (You’re The Battery I Need)” so The A Team can stop automatically playing every time my phone syncs with a new speaker.

I want to be wear sunglasses to an awards show cool