I hate when girls say they love to travel or enjoy physical touch. Those are both fouls. We will lose the game

“Drones. This is war. Our sources tell us that Iran already has nuclear armament.”

“You are not fooling anyone, Mr. Bond. There is no incentive for this to escalate to a full-scale war. I’ll put all my money on nothing happening.”

Gunter, you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bars are too fire. they’ll excommunicate you

Mad to think nothing on MasterChef will ever top this

The people that comment on recipe blogs are a different species.

“Where our minds linger is a choice,” Richard McSpadden once wrote, “and I choose the present.” Richard will be missed each and every day.
bit.ly/3Q1cVSG

Everyone, I know:

goes away, in the end; And

you could have it all,

this is how i imagine half of my mutuals

I’m not usually a “repost from TikTok” guy but hot damn Jesus fuck

call me neville how i long for her bottom

(Ancient Chinese rap battle)

Eastern wind: my wife is very chaste and humble, ur wife can’t carry wood or she stumble

River Fury: Ur wife goes to the heavenly rat banquet in a dress made of cheese. And u ask why shes home naked full of fleas

(abacus guy moves one to the left)

🚨 “Experimentation was conducted off the coast of Bornholm, Denmark”

EXCUSE ME

seapowermagazine.org/baltops-22-a-p…

New Era in Cycling!!! Can’t wait for next year’s Tour De France. Evenepoel, Pogacar and Vingegaard is gonna be exciting and fun #LaVuelta22

In 1663, the partial fossilised skeleton of a woolly rhinoceros was discovered in Germany. This is the “Magdeburg Unicorn”, one of the worst fossil reconstructions in human history.

Asked my dad and uncle why they weren’t chatting and my uncle goes “we’re done chatting for today” and my dad nods and they continue watching tv in silence

presenting Thatcherdle, where the goal is to guess each day whether Margaret Thatcher is dead or alive