Last January, I noticed something peculiar in my 2yo’s bedroom that - after a year of obsessive reporting - led me to a profound cosmic revelation about what’s even possible in our universe. A 🧵.

THE YETI SPEAKS (whose two halves use the same letters, in the same order):

A search engine that thinks like I do…

Guinea pigs that look like Tory MPs
#1 Michael Fabricant

Twitter: we understand you’re worried about us removing blocks but it’s ok because we’ll also be providing everyone you know with an easy way of finding out that you muted them 😐

Emotionally, a £3 rise in the Bluey tax is going to hit me harder than the looming rise in mortgage payments

That comedian’s-tale-of-woe-goes-viral-despite-being-obvious-attempt-to-drum-up-support-for-gig thing escalated quickly

'and some people missed out so they'll be planted in the community bone garden.'

You mean you had to score a try?

Why is it called Cornwall and not “pasty duchy on the left hand side”?

Sebastian Payne repeatedly failing to be nominated as a Conservative prospective parliamentary candidate gives exactly the same amount of joy as Paris Saint Germain repeatedly failing to win the Champions League.