Mathew Thomson(@kafkainthecorn) 's Twitter Profileg
Mathew Thomson

@kafkainthecorn

Grad Student

ID:710186436

calendar_today22-07-2012 05:58:43

323 Tweets

95 Followers

182 Following

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Mathew Thomson(@kafkainthecorn) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Not to be annoying but I just want to read all my poetry books curled up at a window sill in the sunlight and cry. But like, how do you make the time???????

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Mathew Thomson(@kafkainthecorn) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Would someone care to explain to me how I ended up on “thirsty for the new, purple member of the Wiggles” TikTok

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Mathew Thomson(@kafkainthecorn) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Texted this article reporting chest CT finding in cannabis smokers to the group chat with the caption 'Stoner to mommy milkers pipeline', stay tuned for reactions. pubs.rsna.org/doi/10.1148/ra…

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Mathew Thomson(@kafkainthecorn) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Can I do one of those 'please forgive mistakes and typos as this was sent from my phone' email enders, but just say 'I'm kinda dumb and inattentive so if there's mistakes sorry lol'

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ME: Ah, a straight man has arrived at this function. He is being the lowest level of friendly. This is unremarkable.
UNIVERSAL NARRATOR: The 'straight man' was in fact gay, and also trying to flirt with Mathew with barely restrained interest.

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Not to be morbid but I watch the NYC PSA on what to do if the city gets nuked, and now I just want to know if theologians have decided if nuclear fire also destroys our souls or not. Anyone have any answers?

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Nothing like hearing middle school boys call each other f*ggots in a derogatory way while just trying to work out at the YMCA gym 🙃🤡

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CPAWS Southern Alberta(@cpawssab) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Alberta is native trout country! are key indicators of water health, but they’re some of the most threatened species in the province. Learn more about what we’re doing, and what you can do to help at AlbertaNativeTrout.com.

Alberta is native trout country! #ABNativeTrout are key indicators of water health, but they’re some of the most threatened species in the province. Learn more about what we’re doing, and what you can do to help at AlbertaNativeTrout.com.
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Mathew Thomson(@kafkainthecorn) 's Twitter Profile Photo

So tonight after admitting I thought the show was originally called “the mayor of easttown”, I was told more about it and then was like “wait, isn’t it about a horse?” - I fully thought the mare of easttown was horse drama. Anyway. Himbo moment.

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Mathew Thomson(@kafkainthecorn) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Reading the comments on food tiktoks gives me brain damage, please fix the public education system and talk about food - I’m BEGGING !!!!!!!! 🙏🏻🥺

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Mathew Thomson(@kafkainthecorn) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Generally I am unbothered by my name being misspelled in my first 10 emails with most people, even if it's just that they haven't bothered to read my name - people are busy, it's just 1 letter, etc. But when someone who also has a slightly odd name spelling does it? Et tu, Brute?

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Staring at my own video tile in every Teams meeting like Narcissus staring at his reflection in the forest pool

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