Sure he did some murders, but have you ever seen the string dance?

When I’m up early on a saturday

Thank you to the guy who asked me if I had zigzags on me while I was walking the dog this morning

Putting my feet up with a sun brew to take the edge off with its zero percent alcohol and vitamin D

This rules

youtube.com/watch?v=gRrG-7…

cc Patrick Monahan

Me, when someone tells me they’re in rec sports that end at midnight: Jesus Christ you must really love sports. I would never do that shit

Me, going to a pottery glass across town that ends at 10: well that’s normal you see

I can’t believe Grandma Fang doesn’t even have 400 followers on TikTok. All of her videos are bangers

The last poke on my account was from @mobute in 2015

“Hoe, don’t do it” -Joe Biden

I’m playing benjiplant videos while the dog’s CBD oil is kicking in so I can put him in his crate and go to the pottery class without incident

Fuckin lol what

When it’s Friday and you don’t have any more meetings

After hearing Carey O'Donnell describe a schnitzel as ‘an inside out pizza’ and a ‘hot pocket,’ I have decided to report him to Canada Border Services Agency so he will be unable to cross for his show in the summer

I’m hitting the best stuff on TikTok right now