Patient: “can i have a Xanax and sprite?”

Me: “sure can…i wish i could have a Xanax and sprite 🤣 I’ll be right back!”

Patient: *sits up and stares at me* you know we can split the Xanax i won’t tell nobody”

Obviously I declined but i love elders 🤣

Talk about eating something up

🔥🔥🔥

My awful cousin has been arrested for … of all things… horse theft. Pioneer ass crime. Little house on the prairie ass crime.

I have never seen a woman called jasmine who is ugly in my entire life

If salmon had feet it would run away from black people

Fresh off my hook.

This one is so easy for me

After amassing over a million followers trashing her baby daddy, Tiktok star Morgan Bailey and the random man from Atlanta are now making family vlogs.

its always dumb bitches like THESE who just be talking out their mouth behind a twitter screen and really never know wtf they speaking on! HIS father AND MY FATHER WAS there you dumb stupid bitch! ain’t sht sad but you running that big dumb ass not knowing shit! now you look DUMB

Seem like you ain’t had no dad around yourself

'is that the hill you want to die on?' man, I'm just on a hill. you're the lunatic trying to kill me for it

Stop centering yourself in other people’s lives and experiences

Nobody is obligated to do anything for you. But that’s the point of community and friendship. You do things out of love, out of necessity, and out of just selflessness.

never thought to skewer my wings while grilling but it’s bout to be a summer of optimization

My mom makes the best tumblers

apple bottom jeans … yk the rest!!

A little selfie 🤎

Switched my focus to just legs & glutes the past 2 weeks and trying to up my protein intake and look at the difference

y’all would’ve crumbled watching america’s funniest home videos in ‘04

Ok I’m fr getting my tattoo covered up before my birthday next month