one time i saw ants eating jizz out of a used condom on the ground in a parking lot

When I send him a picture of two monkeys and say us and he doesn’t answer

the funniest thing about this is that miley cyrus did not give a fuck LMAO

this is what being retarded feels like

2 sweet

I have a confession to make…..every day I call my cat Stinky but she actually smells really good

LMAO??!<€~£|

Making a grown ass man kiss his phone

Women will be like “I actually don’t like when my man jerks off to other women or goes to strip clubs to sexualize strangers in our monogamous relationship in which I practice restraint and loyalty every day” and people will be like “ohhhh so ur insecure” …………….

Y’all where are my detectives on here? Who can find a person from just a pic of them? Dm me

we had 24 hr walmarts & $1 mcchickens.
we had it all.

it’s almost as if they’ve been treating us barbarically for thousands of years. shocking

Hi Sharks,

I'm asking for $250,000 for drugs and alcohol.

I bring a real “Whatever you want. Anything’s ok with me” vibe to the table that other indecisive people don’t like

In the chipotle line pretending that I’m not Hungover and Dying looking very Cool with my sunglasses on inside