🔔 #FROM ily , you heard Sheriff Boyd… Drop your season 3 questions in the comments now! #FROM

We’re asking #StupidQuestionsForVampires
today!🦇🦇🦇🧛🏽🧛🏽‍♀️🧛🏽‍♂️

The blood suckers, the energy suckers, all of them!

Hosted by Todd Gillett & maybe @Loret826 ;)

It never fails… I’m literally outside and can feel what the weather is like, yet I still have to check the temperature to make sure what I’m feeling is correct

The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I fart in my sleep.

If other peoples low self-esteem insecurities, and double standards (which they are literally clueless they have) were contagious, we would all be fucked. I’m glad I don’t have to wear a mask or need a vaccine for their bullshit. And lucky they’re
way over 6 feet away from me.

Why don’t you care what people think about you.

Me: *laughs in Gen X*

BREAKING NEWS ~ Amy on Facebook woke up this morning thinking today was Friday and she was not to happy about it.

Spending my morning overthinking how not to overthink 🤦‍♀️

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!

Horse: Look man, I was just giving this guy a ride.

Me and my damn T-Rex arms!!!
No matter how far I try to hold an umbrella away from me while closing it, I end up getting smacked in the face with a douse of water. 😑

Larry David pays tribute to his late friend and 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' co-star Richard Lewis.

“Richard and I were born three days apart in the same hospital and for most of my life he’s been like a brother to me. He had that rare combination of being the funniest person and also…

R.I.P. Richard Lewis. One of the funniest guys around, a true comedy lifer. Seeing him go from hard-working Comedy Central fixture to beloved presence on Curb Your Enthusiasm was beautiful, and I'm glad he got to appreciate it.

Every time I'm feeling sad I remember that someone out there is Courtney Love's gynecologist.

If I were rich, I would hire someone to high-five me every time I opened a ketchup packet on the first try.

After “taking a break” from social media and just posting on and off again with weeks in between for about a year now. I notice that most really only use it when bored or drunk or both. Breaking that daily routine, and just living life, seems to make this app less hateful lol

Rhetorical question*

Why the hell do people always remember the bad things?
Yet any good memories seem to be shoved away in some type of dusty ass archive of the brain….

90% of the reason I use my Apple Watch is to just find my fucking phone

If we spell Jeff as Geoff then why not

- Geosh
- Georemy
- Geonathan
- Geonnifer
- Geacob
- Jreg

PSA
If you need to rely on someone else to ensure your happiness…… you’re fucked lol

My meds are working GREAT...