That was crazy. Can’t wait to watch the worst show anyone has ever seen now.

I just hate how catty I get during award shows.

I've been trying to suck my girlfriend deeper into football by talking about other teams with language she can identify with. Just explained the Lions 'lore' for like 15 minutes.

I enjoyed writing this article for FairPlanet. If you're interested in what's being done (and not being done) to fight wildfires, give it a read.

I made this video for Bret because I believe this is one of the most important cases of our time.

Listening to conversations between two old New Yorkers is insufferable. It's just like, 'In Queens, we had car washes where we could also buy drugs.' 'Oh yeah? Well in Brooklyn they had laundramats and WE could buy drugs also.'

Jesus Christ Marie they're minerals

In Sicily, every chair faces the front door.

Every time I interact with someone I'm afraid they're going to laugh at my mustache.

Bill Tull, our prop master extraordinaire for 28 years, died this morning. We always asked the impossible of Bill, sometimes minutes before showtime, and he always delivered. He was a warrior and a legend. Rest In Peace, Bill, and eternal thanks.

Today marks the end of what is surely one of the worst terms in #SCOTUS history. Guns and prayer and abortion got most of the attention. But that's not all the Court did. Here are just some of the Court's bad decisions:
1/25

Who knows if I'll ever get married, but if I do you best believe I'll pop the question on the Yankee Stadium jumbotron.

Thinking about my friends at Al Jazeera today.

The cannibal sandwich (Wisconsin)—raw beef with onions on rye. Every year the health department begs people not to eat these

Y’all spread this just like the jokes. 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾 salute JR Smith

One of my favorite people has passed - my tv mama, Estelle Harris. The joy of playing with her and relishing her glorious laughter was a treat. I adore you, Estelle. Love to your family. Serenity now and always. #RIPEstelleHarris

I used to buy half a pound of roast beef pour mustard on it and eat of the parchment walking down the street. Now I'm dating a vegan and learning how to cook squash. Life really took a turn.

Hate to break it to everybody, but if I was offered the world, I'd probably miss whatever engagement I had.