i know this is supposed to be funny and highlight the ridiculous of the ridiculous but its genuinely so sad man

just found out about a guy who does videos where he drives his s4 while listening to Quran and its now my version of asmr

“i need that thing that when they ice pick your bran what is called again?”
“a lobotomy?”
“yeah”
“nah i think you good”

get him in here now!

*dizzy, fatigued, pulling out my hair* i need to get back into sandwiches

barrack “hussein” obama

COLONEL CAMPBELL: Snake, if you download the Popeyes app, you can get the three-piece chicken tender combo for $7. Try to accumulate enough points to get a free side, too.

Hedge fund trade idea: order 200 pizzas from the Pentagon Papa Johns and short the S&P500

i’ve vaped in places you couldn’t even imagine

ngl if the pa flag ever went as hard as the md flag id be dripped up in that shit everyday

A physics department at a major university in the US is now offering a semester long course on “string theory.”

Yes, you read that right.

String. The things kids make bracelets out of.

The dumbing down of America continues…