So, I thought I wouldn’t find any books 📕 at the library about sound levels. But it turns out there were several volumes.

So, this guy I friended on Facebook shows up on the birthday 🎂 list two days in a row. It’s either a mistake or his mother was exhausted.

Stormy Daniels and Donald Trump have some things in common. She was in adult films and he’s in adult diapers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

So, how many people were at The Met Gala? I don’t really care. I’m a Yankee fan.

Life must be rough for White Supremacists these days because they have to figure out a way to attack Palestine 🇵🇸 protesters 🪧 and still be antisemitic.

Okay, I’m in favor of admitting Pete Rose into The Baseball ⚾️ Hall Of Fame if it’ll SHUT Everybody The F Up!

My friend Bob is an out and out transvestite. But he’s really a nice guy. The kind of person who’d give you the blouse off his back.

At 74 I’ve reached that age where a hot meal turns me on more than a hot body.

“Cartomancy”, learn a new unnecessary vocabulary word everyday so you can act like you’re smarter than everybody and annoy your friends by predicting their fortunes, “Cartomancy”.

As an unknown stand up comedian I always participate in National Textile day because I usually get a lot of new material.

“Labanotation”, learn a new confusing 🫤 vocabulary word everyday that will annoy and confuse everyone you know as you dance 🕺 through the world, 🌎 “Labanotation”.

Just read Salman Rushdie’s new book 📕 about evil 😈 hospital workers called “The Satanic Nurses”.

At 74 years old I have to watch what I eat. I watch it and if it doesn’t move I eat it.

After three cups of coffee ☕️ this morning my blood pressure must be as high as the crowd at Coachella.

BREAKING NEWS 📰: Colombia 🇨🇴 has threatened to break diplomatic ties with Israel 🇮🇱 which would be bad news for coke addicts in Tel Aviv and Haifa.

Why is it that when someone talks to you and starts the sentence with “No Disrespect” everything else they say is completely disrespectful?

“DADA”, learn a new misunderstood and unnecessary vocabulary word everyday and be mocked by everyone who meets you for being ridiculously absurd, “DADA”.

I’m really not particularly worried about a possible bird 🦜 flu 😷 pandemic. But if I start seeing pigeons social distancing I might begin wearing a mask 😷 again.

Why have UFO 🛸 sightings always been the same? Don’t these Aliens 👽 ever get new models?

So, I just ate a giant plate of Matzoh Brei, with a side of matzoh and two cups of coffee ☕️. And my intestines are going through the worst identity crisis of their lives!!