As an aging millennial you may recognize me from popular hits such as, ‘I need to pencil in my eyebrows’ and ‘Omg this grocery store is playing my jams’

My 7yo was diagnosed with ADHD recently. It wasn’t a huge shock because she’s always complained her brain has “too many ideas” that distract her. But today, after meeting with a doctor to discuss medication, she told me she was scared taking it would make her forget her ideas.

my 7 year old came home from school and told me she learned online safety including not to click links that people you don’t know send you

because you might end up with a fungus

The biggest misconception we have as kids, is that there are “normal” people in the world

There really should've been a T in 'perpendicular'.

Anyone else do that fun married couple thing where if one of you goes up to bed early, the other one is incapable of being an adult and stays up way too late?

Me: Oh, here’s a great place to store this!

Also me: Never finds it again.

The first old lady with blue hair should've been a decorated hero.

The parenting conundrum of being excited when your child learns to talk only to spend the next 18 years telling them to be quiet.

Sorry, my ego won’t allow me to talk about my ego…

My full review after being back here for almost a month:

*armpit fart noises*

There’s rain and sun all at the same time here today. It’s raisun.

eating mayo and fruit together is psychopathic.

I can have a clean house or I can keep my kids off screens, you can’t have it both ways Karen!

Mood

Husband: Where are you going?

Me: I have to run a quick errand.

Husband: You're going to the store to buy dessert and eat it in the car so you don’t have to share it with the kids?

Me: Maybe.

Husband: Let me grab my wallet.

Me- *Merging in traffic* Am I clear on your side?
13- *continues looking at her phone* Yes

Told my wife that if I’m ever in a coma she should tell the doctors to give me some panera charged lemonade through my IV, that oughta do the trick

It been a tough week. I didn’t mom very well today. In fact I didn’t mom very well all week.

But I will get up tomorrow and try again, and the day after, and the day after. Because my kids deserve it, and so do I.

I'm just sitting here, watching two of my boys get along and playing together and it got me thinking - damn. They're so annoying right now.