“Yeah, great week. Most of my MPs are locked in sex dungeons or at far right conferences abroad.”

I think I'm right in saying this, and correct me if I'm wrong ...

But the 4th Largest 'Party' in the House of Commons is 'Tory MPs who have lost the whip or been jailed'

Guy who is about to make you an offer:

What a headline. It’s got everything 😳

Advice for scholars: next time you lecture on Kant and revolutions at “Downing” (Darwin College) Cambridge, make sure your hair is neatly tied and that you’re not blonde. Or else your research impact will be on the The Spectator libido section.

Remember when Tory MP Ben Bradley accused working-class people of spending free school meal vouchers in brothels and crack dens? Turns out his colleagues settle those kinds of bill with campaign funds.

However, going through a car wash will void the warranty

‘I’d rather be French.’

A chilling message from the youth of today.

Jesus

I've never hyper focused so much before...
#GodzillaXKong

At some point those concerned about £1500 possibly owed by Rayner are going to call in the police for the tens of thousands allegedly taken by Mark Menzies MP which the Tory Party hoped you wouldn’t know about!

thetimes.co.uk/article/tory-m…

The activity level of Mount Ruang in Siau Tagulandang Biaro (Sitaro), North Sulawesi, has escalated from Level III (Alert) to Level IV (Warning) starting from April 17, 2024, at 21:00 WITA. Public recommendations advise staying within a 6 km radius from the peak of Mount Ruang.

Well this is inconvenient…

Luckily, Rwanda is a safe country.

The Tories have made it so.

Knock Knock.
- Who's there?
Donald Trump.
- Donald Trump who?
Oh thank God, we found a jury member.

What’s the worst birthday / Xmas present you’ve ever had? Mine was when my ex-husband bought me a set of hubcaps.

Note: ‘ex’

If Charles gives the Rwanda Act Royal Assent he'll be the first monarch to approve of trading in human beings since William IV, who, fittingly perhaps, built his favoured London home Clarence House.

What a legacy for a modern monarchy!

Charles the Human Trafficking King.

░N░U░D░E░S░ ░I░N░ ░B░A░Y░E░U░X░

$TSLA Cybertruck owners ..

1) do NOT wash your car in sunlight and

2) do NOT tell Tesla SCs that you drove it through a car wash (like this guy) even if you turned on Car Wash Mode. They will void your warranty. 💀

This is the craziest paleo story of the year. Hominid mandible in someone's bathroom reno! johnhawks.net/weblog/how-man…