Asking Bing AI to write a tweet in the style of my mom saying she’s proud of me

When the guy from Sublime said “date rapes not legal” what did he mean by that? Because neither is heroin and he did that all the time.

I had lovely friends who moved to NYC from TX & they told their slumlord that they had mice & he told them to shake a coffee can with nails to scare them & when that didn’t work he said in his insanely thick Eastern European accent “oh is not mouse. Is baby rat. No solution .”

I hope people who hate children come back as a baby in their next life.

My daughter is watching Pride & Prejudice (1995) with me and telling me which characters are cringe

My ex boyfriend played hooky from school to go see Conan in the city one day and before the show Conan pointed straight at him in the audience and said “I’m gonna kick your ass”

IMPORTANT

Man cooked when he discovered fire

If I met the joker and he was doing something crazy or insane I would grab his shoulders and I’d yell “get a hold of yourself!” I’d maybe even splash some cold water in his face if the situation called for it.

I think it would be really crazy and messed up if the joker offered someone a hankie from his pocket but the hankie was tied to a long chain of other scarves and he just had to keep pulling and pulling and so the person was late for work

I used to know these people who got inner lip tattoos together and hers said “beer” and his said “drugs” but the d almost immediately wore off so it said “rugs”. Anyway beer girl slept with this guy I liked and then I couldn’t because as you can imagine she had herpes real bad.

My mom isn’t going to see the eclipse with use because she says it scares her, that she is scared by solar events and also stars, and she doesn’t like the night sky either because there’s too many stars and it’s too open and she cautioned us against going because it will be dark

Not a lot of doctors suggesting you put the lime in the coconut these days. Not enough $$$ in it for big pharma.

They do not want you to look directly into the eclipse because they are afraid it will make you too powerful