Fantastic Mr. Farts

My girlfriend loves it when i gaslight her

The funniest thing a guy can do is have small feet

Put him in jail for public urination

enjoying the passenger seat of my girlfriends car just a little too much

Happy birthday, prince

kind of fucked up my paycheck is smaller just because i didn’t work as much

just found out i have the worst penis

the supreme court is really giving me mixed emotions today.

listened to two songs off the new drake album and accidentally killed myself

almost got in a car accident while looking at pictures of julian casablancas. that sure would have been a STROKE of bad luck 😂

bought an in home security system just to watch the mice run around my living room from the comfort of my bed

this SUCKS!!

no one is happier mac miller died than jack harlow

i love that my new puppy shits in the living room he is everything i wish i could be