My teen looks at me.
Her sweet voice says 'are you going to work today?'
But her eyes say 'in THAT outfit?'

The Superbowl would be a lot better if it didn't start in the middle of the night at 6:30PM.

On average it takes a mom 30 minutes of saying “we’re leaving now” to get her family to leave.

Listen, we’ve all had to compromise. I’m normally at the hardware store on this day.

Sorry about how all of our wives acted when Ludacris came out.

Today’s final score will be:

Calories: 7,564
Me: 0

I hope Travis & Taylor kiss a whole bunch of times & adopt 40k puppies & turn the entire Super Bowl into a musical.

Shout out to everyone wearing new socks today.

I took the kids to the Science Center yesterday, where they picked up a hands-on lesson about the immune system.

My toddler strung four words together for the first time. He said ‘stop talking to me.’ My heart is full.

the only meal i know is christmas cookies. i don’t remember what i ate before this

I’m convinced no one actually has a place to wear any of the fancy sparkly outfits that fashion brands promote for New Year’s Eve and it’s all just a lie being pushed by Big Sequin

I’m on a break from eating. Aa-and I’m back.