Right now close to the Capitol. a 41-year-old Florida man is trying to pick up two 18-year-old Hooters servers by showing them the balls of a 61-year-old California man.

There's a gambling website called Assholes Politicians where you can bet on asshole politicians. After today's ouster of Speaker Kevin McCarthy, 'Asshole Politicians' set the number of times a vote in Congress will be needed to elect a new Speaker at 14.
I bet $50 on the over.

Me: Hi, is this Mar-A-Largo?
Voice: Yes, how can I help you?
Me: I'm responding to your ad for box technician.
Voice: Great. Have you moved boxes before?
Me: Thousands of them.
Voice: Great. What is your name?
Me: Rico. Capital R, capital I, capital C, capital O.

Norway's 'You Kids Stay Off My Lawn' holiday is tomorrow.

Every competent multi-tasking Boomer started with this beautiful baby...

Introducing the AMC Escher.
When the Gremlin, the Pacer, and the Pinto are just too fancy and practical.

Sisyphus starter kit

Fun Fact
When a Mar-a-Lardo Colombian Groundhog sees its own shadow, it means one thing--six more weeks of cocaine.

Tom: Sir, MSNBC surpassed us in the Neilsens for the first time in 120 weeks.
Not dead yet Murdoch: You know what to do.
Tom: Crank up the ratfuckery to 11?
Almost dead Murdoch: Excellent. Now FUCk OFF!

Carnac: A hen, Linda Lovelace, and Tucker Carlson
(tears open envelope)
Name a clucker, a sucker, and a fucker.

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear Speedos.

Instead of paying some rich mega-asshole $8/month for a worthless #BlueCheckMark , I'm going to buy a rocket, that does not fall to Earth in flames, for $8.

Maria Bartiromo, Jeanine Pirro, and Dan Bongino all got fired by Fox News today!

Vegas oddsmakers have put the over/under on How Many Boxes of Wine Will These Three Turds Will Drink Today at 5. Smart money says go w/ the over.