Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on her decision to contribute to the @DCCC for the first time, as first reported by the NYTimes:

'If Democrats do not retake the House in November, I do not have confidence that a Republican majority would certify the results of a presidential election.'

This you?

I feel like a real asshole for not having an “OJ is dead” joke ready

Oh cool the Supreme Court just upheld an 1846 law mandating the use of leeches to treat The Vapors

I want a refund

“Leave it up to the states,” he said

I’m a Christian and I am also #ProChoice because abortion is HEALTHCARE.

Denying a woman the right to make decisions about what is best for her body, her family and her future is cruelty.

Donald Trump doesn’t care if any of us survive his quest for absolute power. His handling…

This is a painful story that so many families around America now know too well: Amanda was denied the medical care she needed, and it nearly took her life.

More than 1 in 3 women in America now lives under an abortion ban, with more on the way.

Donald Trump did this.

Just to be safe, don’t look directly at ANYTHING today

Umm there was a global plague under Trump

WASHINGTON (AP) — Biden tells Netanyahu that future US support for the Gaza war depends on new steps to protect civilians and aid workers.

You already made your statement, Donald.

I feel like we’re not talking enough about the fact that the quadruply indicted, insurrection inciting, hang Mike Pence advocating, “bloodbath promising” former president & current candidate posted a video of Joe Biden hog tied & that no one in his party has said a word about it.

BIDEN SCHEDULED APRIL FOOL'S DAY FOR THE DAY AFTER EASTER?!!!!!!!!!

OMG I am stuck in a giant mousetrap and whatnot JK there's no giant mousetrap y'all I am fine and so forth

Five days ago, Israel offered to release 800 prisoners to Hamas for just 40 of the hostages they kidnapped.

Hamas turned them down. Because they don’t care about how many civilians get slaughtered. Every dead Palestinian is helpful in the deluded fever dream of destroying Israel

AI, create a matza ball.

AI:

guy: hey let’s sell flour

CEO: ok sure. the packaging could be a resealable bag, something-

guy: fucked up beyond all reason

CEO: ..what

guy: the worst thing you’ve ever dealt with

CEO: I love it

I missed the part in The Bible where it says The Bible should retail for $59.99

Joe Rogan: Jan 6 was a conspiracy to take down Trump

Bro we took him down in November of 2020 with 81 million votes. Why would Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Shumer attack themselves to stop the certification of Biden's win?

Dude has millions of listeners and no brain