hey Apple your dumb amber alert about the earthquake scared me more than the actual earthquake

the cause of the earthquake:

still can’t believe this set was 2 blocks away from me and i missed it

this is what cillian murphy looks like to me

i am such a bad texter that i left phoebe ryan on read in 2022

bushwick is not real bc why am i in the same popup shop with half of my tiktok feed

idk who needs to hear this but your AI generated photoshoot looks nothing like you

boy math

just landed in north carolina and i think i already gained 3 pounds

Hailey Bieber listening to Doja Cat’s new single, “Agora Hills”, on mute.

is it just me or do umbrellas not work

my new dentist said my teeth look like the dental mannequins he used to study in dental school LETS GOOOOOOOO

if megan thee stallion were an onion she’d be megan thee scallion

only real corporate baddies know this is google sheets 🫰🏻

why is an entire rotisserie chicken only $5

i reread this 4 months later and think i just fell for my own joke

yall ever just get 13 mosquito bites on one leg or just me

has it ever occurred to you that your pet has never laughed

ok now take it off the app

YESSS ITS ALMOST TIME