women after a break up: im in my hashtag slut era!
men after a break up: [learns the entirety of the title fight album Hyperview on guitar]

there was a scene in 3 body problem where a guy was dying of terminal cancer & his friend was talking to another friend about spending time with him before he died & says 'we're gonna watch some rick and morty later' & that made me more depressed than anything else in the show

They said they Wanna see the toys 🤥😹 OK then 💯🙈🙉

Went to a screening of Love Lies Bleeding and the Jacking section was completely sold out. So I'm sitting there in the Non-Jacking section, not jacking it, like a complete idiot. Meanwhile I look over at the Jacking section and several of the guys aren't even jacking it

how i look when im eating pussy and look up and make eye contact

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by Balatro

love this website so much

hey guys when you meet my new girlfriend tonight can you pretend that I'm an entirely different person than who I am? don't bring up anything I've said or done in the past or any opinions I've had. If you could keep that up the entire time I'm dating her that'd be great, thanks

Dark Female Psychology Facts That Are Fucked

I wish I could be one of those guys who gets rich off bitcoin & cryptocurrencies but unfortunately I was born insanely cool so I don't understand that nerd bullshit

middle of the month, had to evict tenants because the 2-week grace period is over. feeling feelings, but as always it's punk rock getting me through...

[group chat that's been going on way too long & everyone has grown resentful of each other]
guy 1: tool is good
guy 2: yeah more like FOOL
guy 1: oh yeah? hows ur junkie brother? did he fucking die yet?

just found out one of the candidates in brisbane for the greens is a video game designer, yeah he's running on the promise of putting more bright red explosive barrels around brisbane!!!!!

All of The Strokes songs are about how cool it is for a girl to come over to your apartment

friend: what have U been doing lately?
me, in an extremely monotonous drone voice, slowly craning my head to face them: using the computer

[2011 phone camera dick pic with visible xbox 360 controller on the ground] like what you see?

100% they're gonna redo the scene from the original where brandon lee is playing guitar on the rooftop but change it so he's playing dark ambient soundcloud beats off a novation launchpad

Watched Oppenheimer with my parents. They covered their ears for 5 minutes before the bomb went off, as if it might explode suddenly at any moment, and as if it would be as loud as a real bomb