A video game where an ape does the whitest shit possible. Honky Kong.

Guaranteed when Trump was told about Barron's graduation, he thought it was for 8th grade.

Personally, I think Thor was at his sexiest when he was fat.

I'm tweeting a lot less these days. Oh shit! Am I actually happy?

Ass Eating Champion 2024

I saw the owner of the shop leaving the sperm bank with a pretty hefty sized bag.

Why does this tiramisu look like it's going to eat rather than be eaten?

Isn't this already the 17th time WWIII has supposedly started in the last five years?

*tries heroine as well*

A movie where Vin Diesel and The Rock play mild mannered business men that are never in a hurry. The Slow and the Serious. This is incredibly stupid and I'm sorry but not sorry enough that I didn't still tweet it.

Is it okay to make fun of a dead person if he was a murderer who got away with it?

Virgin cocktails are just like regular cocktails except they weren't stirred with a dick.

No, fuck you! He was also named Frankenstein. Dr. Frankenstein created him so why wouldn't his last name be Frankenstein as well? Fuck you!

This rapture was so lame. I didn't cum once.

When the edibles kick in at the worst time possible.

The rapture better happen this time. I'm sick of some of these motherfuckers.

I'd totally fuck you to the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas album in April.

'These two gonna fuck or what?'

'Good, now roll over. Yeah, that's fuckin' sexy!'

*stays home forever*