I believe gender is a construct except that only as a boy mom do you get sprayed in the face with pee

Welp time to flip the “days since our last weird little baby rash” sign back to zero

By 4 weeks your baby should be gazing at some beloved things like:
- ceiling fan
- rotating Roku TV logo
- striped towel

Breastfeeding is great because it’s free, after you pay for the boppy pillow and nipple cream and nipple pads and pumping bra and lactation massager and lactation consultants and hospital-grade pump rental and ice packs and nipple shields and emergency hand pump and collector cup

Illustration of the early weeks of breastfeeding

I *thiink* the baby loves us, but mostly he just acts like we’re detaining him without due process

What’s a show that’s similar to Girls5Eva (which I wrongly slept on for too long)

we should have named the baby Max, for 'in-network out-of-pocket maximum'

Nothing has made me identify with my baby more than when he got so mad that he peed in his own mouth

to relax your baby at bedtime, sing a lullaby with reassuring lyrics like:

If God will thou shalt wake
When the morning doth break.
whattoexpect.com/first-year/sle…

today's the second-best day after the birth of my son: We got cleared to let him sleep 4 hours at night😅

[washing pump parts] got 100 mls!

my mom: in Soviet Union we have competition to see which woman could milk the most cow. You are like this woman.