me watching the first 2 episodes of percy jackson and the olympians on december:

taking my bereal

To celebrate the release of The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom on 12th May, we’re giving away a special Zelda OLED model Switch plus a copy of the game.

Retweet for a chance to win!
/ UK 18+ #ad / T&Cs: bit.ly/3NiKNJD Nintendo UK

Too real

Try not to think about it too much

Me all night;

Others: Do you have big plans for New Years?
Me: Of course!
(What I mean by big plans...)

when you sleep to avoid your problems but end up dreaming about them

*RETWEET COMPETITION*

You can win this lovely bundle of classic crime and horror short stories, thanks to British Library Publishing!

Two of each - one for you, one to gift.

To be in with a chance;

- FOLLOW us
- RETWEET this

Ends 7pm Monday. Winner chosen at random. UK only.

Good luck!

why the fuck did a random thursday in november illicit the downfall of ticketmaster, twitter, nancy pelosi, and greys anatomy

being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the titanic except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad

i'm in a really bad place right now. not mentally, i’m just in the UK. x

This dumb thread actually brings me great joy

Please be careful when eating ice-creams in this heat, if you get heart burn and brain freeze at the same time you will revert to factory settings.

it's our anniversary, so i thought i'd do something nice for you...

retweet this tweet with #FallGuysAnniversaryCustomXboxGiveaway for a chance to win this SUPER AWESOME CUSTOM FALL GUYS XBOX SERIES S!!!

must be following, you have until 8th!!

📚 fallguys.com/legal/fall-guy…

“What’s happening Kammy” 😳🤷🏽‍♂️ i dunno Jeff 😂🤣