“Tough to be disruptive” just threw up on my flaccid dick

“We can’t just leave him in space!” - so true, Deep Impact

I don’t like when pizza is floppy. Pizza should be hard like rocks. When I bite it I should break my teeth. It should also have a bit of a char

Just got home from the mall- we are going to war??? I’m going back to the mall

They say to hold onto the things in life that you’re terrified to lose. That’s why I’m doing squats every day

Tell me why I’m at this empty restaurant and two people took the table right next to me! If they’re lookin for a third it’s not happening tonight, I had too many noodles and my tumtum hurts

Many people in the internet suggesting that you “be your own boss” aren’t considering the fact that I am highly unmanageable

With musicians like Morgan Wallen it’s probably really easy for fans to separate the art from the artist because that’s how it’s produced anyway

Petition to get live cams at every tennis court in Portland so I don’t have to drive all over the city to find an open court

Had a parade of nightmares last night, a comical level of terror. My hope is to one day be able to place my brain in a wooden box every night

Naming my baby daughter Kontent 😌

Three members of Flagrant were speaking about OJ in their respective circles on Tuesday night of this week. Just getting ahead of this bc we did NOT kill him, we were all practicing chip shots and showering at the time of his death

I really want to live in a neighborhood where people wander into each other’s open garages on sunny weekend days to see what you’re up to. You can’t do that in an apartment building, no one leaves their doors unlocked, I check every day

Footage of OJ in his final moments are just devastating

You’re telling me I get a shot at the girl in my newspaper class who messed around with my HS boyfriend RIGHT after we broke up? Let me drag this plane around the tarmac for a while

Watching Creed III realizing all I need to do to get in the best shape of my life is train like I’m about to beat the shit out of a friend who wronged me

Me: you think darkness is your ally?

My cat: meow

I thought uniqlo was a DJ…I’m outta here, I can’t hang

It’s sandwich weather